le temps de mourir

Alors voilà, je suis morte.

Je n’ai pas eu le temps de rencontrer tous mes amis, pas encore embrassé tous mes amours, pas eu le temps de réaliser une ambition à la hauteur de mon pessimisme. Pas terminé de congédier mes peurs. Ce n’était pas le moment de mourir…  On ne me retire pas comme ça de mon histoire! Je n’ai pas réglé toutes mes dettes, pas fini la vaisselle. Merde. Pas eu le temps de comprendre la lumière intérieure, l’amour désintéressé, la fin de l’égo, tout ça , tout ça. Pas compris pourquoi le serpent est si froid, pourquoi le goût du raisin noir et pourquoi le ronronnement du chat. Je n’avais pas le temps de mourir aujourd’hui. Mais c’est ainsi. La durée d’une existence n’est pas négociable.

Mon très cher amour, enfin absente de moi-même, je vis une paix parfaite. Je réalise l’immensité de mon ignorance. Si je le pouvais, je reviendrais pour me délecter de ton baiser mal rasé et piquant. Je reviendrais pour rêver des histoires sans fin pendant l’hiver trop froid. Je reviendrais te dire que ces maux dont je me plaignais me manquent. Comme ton baiser mal rasé justement.

Un passage sur Terre. L’occurence unique. Le don de comprendre. Le chant du vent. Le vol de l’hirondelle. Les racines. La clémence du soleil. Le rire de l’enfant. Le parfum des fleurs.

La vie terrestre me parait terrible et merveilleuse. Avec tant de témoins aveugles et sourds! Reprenons tout. Oui. Reprenons tout depuis le début.

Transparence souveraine. Abandon radieux. Silence lumineux.

 

tunnel

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